Brownies with a Side of Rage

Yesterday, we made brownies. Maybe we did it because we didn’t have cookie ingredients in the house. Maybe it was because they sounded good. Maybe it was because deep down, I was struggling with the emotional baggage of the book about surviving losing Sam being released in e-version.

I don’t know what prompted us to make the brownies. What I know is that they weren’t the best ever made. New type of mix, maybe? I don’t know the reason, but the edges were hard as rock.

I seem to struggle with baking brownies. Often the edges are like hockey pucks. Maybe that was why Sam always took the middle of the pan — no hard edges.

In the midst of thinking about the brownies, I learned that a former student had died of an overdose, and it hurt more than I can express. I am so very tired of hearing that funny, loving, giving young people are being taken from us. I am so tired of seeing the broken hearts of families and friends.

Yes, I cried. Writing this now, tears are running down my face. This student made me  laugh, even when I wanted to stay serious. She was loud, funny, and no matter what, always had a smile for me — even when I was having to be the disciplinarian. I ran into her last summer, and was so happy to see her, to get a hug, to see her always impressive fake nails and hear about her young daughter.

Then, after the tears, the anger came. When will we stop this epidemic? We need to stop pushing drug abuse and addiction to the side, we need to face the reality of the issue, and work as an entire global community to solve it.

 

One thought on “Brownies with a Side of Rage

  1. Our children are always on our minds and just about everything brings back memories. So I’m not surprised you’d think about how Chris used to take a piece of brownie from the center.

    The wind blows outside my office and I’m filled with a sadness I can’t even relate to Chad, except that even sadness reminds me of him.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.