Joy and Grief in Equal Measures

As I wait for That One Small Omission to be released on October 11th, I also struggle with the weight and sadness that comes as a part of October for us now. No matter the joy that comes in October to us as a family, it forever will be the month that took Sam from us. A month that prior to 2013 was filled with pumpkins, cider, donuts, leaves, soccer, hikes and unending laughter, now has many of those things, and great heartache and many tears. No matter how much we still love those parts of fall, we still feel the yawning ache of his loss. So, as I prepare to celebrate the launch of my first published novel, I also recognize that it will come with the sadness of not having him here jumping up and down wanting to be the first to hold it in print. Instead, we will do as he wanted us to, and when it releases, we (parents and children) will go out to dinner, and we will order whatever we want. And I’m sure that at least some of us will put some ketchup on the plate in his honor — no matter what we order.

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